Wednesday, November 19, 2008

 

Chapter One: The Vision

Chapter 1: The Vision


As I look out my window I see the leaves changing to a bright yellow, dashing orange, and a weird colored brown. Although, it's still a horrible day because there's notten' much to do but look out the window listening to my dad scream at my mom for a fight that their having about who knows what, and my six year old baby sister Gabbi, cry because she has the flu with a high temperature. Every ten minutes I have to walk in to her room and give her a cold, refreshing, washcloth to cool her down. Speaking of which I have to go in there right now. When I walk into her room, I look into her bed, but she wasn't there. My first impression was that she would be in the kitchen getting a snack. I slowly pass the living room, were my mom and dad were having their fight. I sneak past the dining room and into the kitchen. She wasn't there either. That's when I start to panic.

I ran into the living room and screamed, "Gabbi's missing!" My dad turns around, he has a red flaring mad expression on his face, and smacks me clear across the room. He yells not listening to what I had just said , "Leave us alone can't you see I'm busy here!" Tears slowly start to stroke down my face.

So about Gabbi, I have a couple choices I could call the police and file a report or I could take this upon myself to find her. I really should call the police but for once I would like to do something right! Suddenly, there was fog at the ankle of my feet. It started to rise to my hips then to my shoulders. I started to freak out this was scary!!! Then I saw a figure of a boy that looks like me walking up to a body that lay upon the ground. The boy fell on his knees bursting into tears. I walk toward the figures and I tried to touch the boy. But then everything vanished!


Comments:
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
I want comments!!!
 
Emily, this is amazing writing!! You make your story so interesting by adding a lot of details and GREAT adjectives to tell your story. I like the strong emotional element, that really draws your reader in and helps them care about the characters. This is a great start and I am proud of you! Where's chapter 2!?!?
 
SHAME ON YOU AUNT JAMIE YOU ALWAYS COMMENTON MY BLOG POSTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME THERE!!! I NEED CHAPTER 2 RIGHT NOW!!! IT'S CRUEL TO LEAVE US DISAPPEARING IN THE FOG!!

PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!

HUBBYMAN (GRANDPA)
 
Em..honey..is there something we should know about your Mom and Chris?

Just Kidding! I love your story baby, I can't wait to read the second chapter.

I've been working a lot and I didn't get a chance to check out your blog. I'm sure glad I did!
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
Thanks for the comments you guys!!! OH, and sorry, HUBBYMAN, for leaving you in the fog. I should make Chapter 2. Actually, I will make Chapter 2 RIGHT now!!!
 
You wrote this on Nov. 19 which is the exact day I had my heart surgery. Freaky! But what a great story! You have such a good start, why didn't you finish it? We all want to know what happens next!
 
I know I keep saying I will I will and I don't but this time I going to do it right now!!!!!!!!!! :)
 
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